This past week was long… that week before Mother’s Day.
It seemed everyone was struggling, so many big feelings, so many deep heart needs that expressed themselves in a wide variety of ways, so many old behaviors that only seem to come back at these hard times, sibling fighting, and just that general feeling of sadness, pain, and grief that descends at times that trigger all these old memories and feelings.
It was just kind of yuck.
Oh, there were all the extra love, cuddles and heart talks and all that good stuff that comes along the with the tough stuff, …
There’s that deep settledness that we can without a doubt handle all the tough, but it isn’t easy….
As a family we aren’t scared of big feelings, or tough behaviours, but we all were sure sick of the struggle…
We were all weary.
Just kind of all just wanting this sad time to be over and we could put another Mother’s day with its complexities behind us.
And then late one evening Kenton, (who the kids are sure is always on the look out for these kinds of things, 🙂 ) tells me he just read how the town of Lincoln is calling for volunteers to please come help them fill sand bags. The huge amount of snow we had this past winter is causing flooding in many areas of MT as it melts, which has endangered many homes, thus the big need for sandbags. He’s like “Should we go down and help them tomorrow?”
Absolutely. I was thrilled. I knew it was just what we needed as a family. (Man, God’s so good like that.)
But the devil kept whispering to me, “Are you SURE?” and reminding me of the struggles we’ve been having all week… the tough behaviours… the melt downs… and he had a point, the stuff we’d been facing and the circus we’d been managing didn’t look like anything we wanted to take anywhere! lol
But I knew our kids. I knew their hearts. I knew their love of helping others. And I wasn’t going to let Satan hinder me. If we had issues we’d deal with them then.
And I was so right.
The kids were so excited when we told them the next morning.
We had such an amazing day. It was pretty hard work for all the little people but they put their hearts into it, and had so much fun. And worked, and worked, and worked…
They were incredible.
As I watched their beaming little faces it just confirmed in my mind all over again that even in our toughest (or many be even more so during those kinds of times) we all need to KNOW we have purpose, value, and power to make the world a better place for someone.
It’s not about getting our minds off ourselves, and or that we need to just quit thinking about our own problems. It’s not about seeing other’s big problems and that should make us feel like ours are unimportant. It’s not about forcing ourselves to stuff our own pain so we can perform and look good.
No. Not at all.
It’s about knowing that even in our darkest moments we are valuable, that God’s got purpose for us, and that we are the hands and feet of Jesus to others.
And that reality is not dependant on how we feel, what we are struggling with or how well we’ve been handling life.
They were so dirty, so tired, and so happy as we drove home in the later afternoon, and my heart was just so grateful to the God, who never ceases to give us just what we need, exactly when we need it.
So Happy Mother’s Day to all of you! My heart is just so full as I look at my kids.
These little people have helped grow me and taught me so many things…
Their love of life,
their ability to use their voice to stand up for themselves and others,
their deep care and love for people,
their great understanding of the needs of the hurting,
their willingness to work through deep issues, and to take responsibility for their actions,
their willingness to do “do-overs” and repairs when they mess up,
the way they will try and try and give it all they’ve got,
their willingness to feel, be real and not let emotions scare them,
their expressive involvement in the world around them,
their boundless energy,
the way they aren’t ashamed to use their voice,
their willingness to fight for justice,
their thirst for knowledge,
the way they want to know “why” and want to understand,
their faith in God even during the
their growing ability to set healthy bounderies,
the way they shamelessly give compliments,
the way they choose love over fear.
They feel so deeply -the joy and the pain, the good and the bad.
They’ve taught me that we don’t have to pick joy or grief, that you can have both simultaneously, as we work through the complexities of life. 💗
I just look at them and I see a gift beyond measure.
A gift I hope I never ever take for granted.